It’s been approximately twelve weeks since I made the move out of a quiet little cul-de-sac in Birmingham to a ground floor flat in the heart of the City of London and you could call it a good time to sit back and reflect on what’s happened since that weekend my parents left me to cook by myself.
In fact, while day-dreaming through my politics lecture this morning, I realised that throughout my time at university I have learned so many new things – and here’s my chance to share this with you.
1. In the first week of arriving, I learned that it is possible to pop over to Leicester Square for breakfast before running across London in order to get ready for a wedding that’s in Basingstoke.
2. I have learned how to wear neon paint on my face and how to draw various graphical images on other people while convincingly telling them that it was innocent.
3. In addition to number two, I have also learned how to remove such paint, ten minutes before a job interview.
Looking down into Northampton Square, City University London
4. Some of my earliest memories of university itself include wine. I guess you can say that I’ve learned to appreciate free wine at every occasion.
5. Following that, I managed to work out that white wine was the 2nd most consumed drink I had in the first week of me moving to London, which then shot up to the 1st by the second week.
6. I have learned that it is fun to dress up in a tiger onesie and run around Piccadilly Circus at midnight!
7. At the end of my second week, I learned that the Wetherspoons make a great king prawn curry.
8. I have learned that when you use the washing machine, that you put your washing up powder in before you press the start button.
9. I have learned that I really shouldn’t play the popular game ‘never have I ever’ with people I have to work with the following day.
10. I have learned how to get ripped off by a ‘major photography store’.
11. In mid-October, I learned that storing all of your friends’ mobile phones, your own, a laptop and various drinks is highly suspicious when entering the Houses of Parliament.
12. I also learned that day that it takes more than two hours to order and eat lunch form a pub as well as run half way across London in order to make the next seminar on time.
13. I have learned that conversations over a pizza have no limitations… Especially with references to the discussions that happened during my ninth point.
14. I have learned how important it is to go to a good jazz night and that an Apple Martini is always welcome.
15. I have learned how cyclists don’t stop for red lights, on many occasions.
16. I have accidentally learned how to give yourself food poisoning.
17. I have learned how to get yourself barred at a pub.
18. I have learned that my mum’s cooking is simply the best. It’s better than all the rest.
19. I have learned that when you have a train at seven o’clock in the morning, it’s a good idea to pack the night before – and to also wake up with enough time to avoid the start of London’s rush hour on the underground.
20. Unfortunately, it was only after reading week had ended, that I learned that the week was not-best spent drinking.
21. I have learned how weird it is to have impressions taken of your ears.
22. I learned that a pint with a comedian is always funnier than the show itself.
23. At the end of watching One Rogue Reporter in SOHO Theatre, I learned what Kelvin Mackenzie looks like naked. I also learned that this is the reason I have nightmares.
24. I have learned that even in the Houses of Parliament, you have to wait for internet videos to buffer as half way through the live feed from the Leveson Report, it did just that.
25. I have learned how to get yourself barred at another pub.
26. I have learned that money-off vouchers have an expiry date and that managers can’t do anything with a voucher thats over two years old.
27. I have learned that going to a teacher’s book launch helps put you in his good books when you miss his seminar.
28. I have learned that three donuts is a substantial breakfast each morning.
29. I have learned that ‘devils advocate’ can help you keep friends when you say something controversial in a panel discussion.
30. I have learned that it is possible to get changed, eat dinner and get from St Pauls to Wembley Arena in an hour.
31. I have learned that you can listen to your own music (Mi1) loud and clear, while standing at the front of a rock concert.
32. I have learned that rice, tuna and cheese don’t really ‘go’ well together.
33. I have learned how to disguise earphones for lectures.
34. I have learned that ‘flat inspections are important’ and ‘should be taken seriously’.
35. I have learned that it takes a considerable amount of time to write an essay and that just over half an hour before deadline is not a good time to start.
36. I have learned that there is a food pincher in my flat.
37. I have learned that when one person borrows your printer, everyone suddenly has things they need to print.
38. I have learned to come up with printer excuses in those situations.
39. I have learned that flat parties at 2am are ‘unsociable to others’ and ‘annoying to my neighbours’.
40. I have learned that when running late, I can indeed get to uni in five minutes. It does however mean that I can’t stop off at the bakery on the way…
While making a quick sandwich ready for tomorrows train journey home, I thought it would make things easier if I put my knife under the tap to help spread my butter more easier.
It felt like Christmas all over, as I sliced and diced a Turkey breast. As my usual cooking methods go, it wasn’t a standard roast or ‘pop in the oven’ job. Instead, a heavy use of spices and all sorts was added to the mix. I firstly marinated the meat in some sort of powdery thing that said “this will make any meat spicy” so, pretty self explanatory really. With some chips, coated in chilli powder, the Turkey then went into the oven for enough time for me to feel hungry. 
I had seen this little gadget advertised around for a few months, waiting for its arrival in the UK after it took off over the great pond in America late last year, but I finally got my hands on one yesterday. 
I began by sprinkling my marinade on a baking tray, before throwing some chunks of chicken on it. I washed my hands and sprinkled a little more of the powder over the top and let it begin it’s magic. It was then time to throw some pasta into the saucepan which was ready and waiting with boiling water. I felt so confident that I even took photos!
To not die from food poisoning.
It seems pretty legitimate to be frank, but this was no ordinary cooking challenge. It would involve multitasking on a whole new level, as while the meat slowly burned in the pan, the pasta was left unattended, bubbling over the edges of the saucepan that contained the carbohydrate. My collection of spices were once again used, this time with the right amount after the shocking episode after the sudden hiccups…
Chilli powder should never be sold to a student. Or for that matter, a student who doesn’t appreciate good cooking.
